Bad Idea/Transcript
(Episode starts with Sonic and his friends outside Eggman's base, discussing their plan.) Sonic: Alright, team. It's time to save the world. This is what we've trained for! All those days... Link: Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! I wasn't told about any war rehersals! Who's trying to take my spot? I bet it was Derrique. (Derrique pops out from a bunch of crystals.) Tails: Who the fuck is Derrique? Link: He's my understudy and fuck you, Derrique. Sonic: Okay. We're off to a predictable start. (Suddenly, Slippy begins choking.) Peppy: Oh, god! Slippy needs you respirator! She can only survive in an oxygen atmosphere! Jim: This is air. Peppy: Good point! Slippy! Are you breathing? (Slippy stops choking.) Slippy: Yup. Am I dead? Peppy: Nope! You're talking. Slippy: Great! Sonic: This is a nightmare! Thunderhead: What time does the bus get here? Sonic: What bus?! For what?! Kirby: Can we just murder things now? Sonic: Yes! For fuck's sake, yes! At least someone came to play today. Tails: Alright, here's the plan: We're gonna scale up to the top of Eggman's tower, sneak in and get the drop on Eggman and his crazy ass daughter. They'll never see it coming! Jim: That place is crawling with baddies. How do you plan on just sneaking in? Tails: Uh...don't worry about that. This little baby has 'stealth mode.' (Soon, a disguised Sophia began scaling up Eggman's tower.) Sophia: LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! (Sonic and co. ran into Eggman's base.) Sonic: Oh, man. Those idiots have no idea we're coming. (A sinister laugh is heard.) Sonic: Oh, shit! They're watching Return of the Jedi! (The lights turn on, revealing Eggman and Eggette.) Dr. Eggman: Hello, Sonic! I told you I knew your every move! Sonic: Oh, you think I'm predictable? Well get ready for this! Get 'em, Slippy! Slippy: Get ready for a surprise! (She pulls out a gun and shot herself. Her right eye flew off.) Eggette: Wha...What was that? Sonic: Ah! She was supposed to take off her mask and then reveal one of the Ninja Turtles, and then he was going to do some cool karate shit. Tails: This is the first I'm hearing any of this. Sonic: Yeah. I'm just not realising any fall through and any of that. So I guess Slippy took that as her cue to commit suicide? Eh. Sorry, Peppy. Peppy: Yeah...Uh...About that. (Peppy takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Rafael.) Rafael: Cowabonga! Sonic: Ah! Fuck! Dr. Eggman: Wow. Well...uh...geez. Uh...I'm still gonna kill you guys. So...Eggette? Eggette: Behold! The Egg Scrambler! (A souped-up Death Egg Robot enters the scene.) Eggette: We've designed this killing machine to know your every move! Do your worst! Sonic: Attack! (Thunderhead charged at the robot but it shot out a book.) Thunderhead: What the? (He picks up the book.) Thunderhead: Aw, man! 'THE BEST OF TOILET CAMS 1994!' This is the best one! I've been looking for this!... (The book explodes and Thunderhead is send flying.) Tails: Aw, shit! It knows our weaknesses! Everybody! Just be smart about this! (The robot then shot out a man that looked oddly familiar to Tails.) Manager: Hey, superstar! 'Tails Explosion' is getting rebooted for Steam! Or Twitch, or whatever! You're gonna be rich! Tails: Yes! Eat my shit, everybody! Hollywood, here I come! Wow! (The Manager's desk punches Tails away, sending him flying into Link. Derrique then appears.) Derrique: Ooh, looks like you're hurt! It's Derrique's time to shine! Link: Fuck...you, Derrique! (He began chasing his understudy.) Eggette: How did you predict that one? Dr. Eggman: Yeah, I have no idea what that one was about. I was about to drown Link in that margarita hot-tub. Rafael: Let's keep attacking one person at a time! (He robot flicked at him.) Rafael: Wow! Not cool! (Knuckles and Kirby retreats, leaving Sonic and Jim the only ones standing.) Sonic: Where's the chances you've programmed some giant Death Star-like flaw to defeat this robot? Jim: Way...ahead of you! (Jim summons his dancing baby, prompting Sonic to pull out his gun.) Sonic: Fuck...you... (Jim runs away and the robot squishes the baby.) Eggman: This is it, Sonic! Nowhere to run! Sonic: Wait, who's my weakness? Eggman: Oh, I didn't even bother with yours. Literally everything is your weakness! Sonic: True. Well, I'm not gonna go down without a... (Suddenly, one of the walls of the tower blows up and Mario and his goons enters the tower.) Mario: Fight.